Stream of Mumpyness

by Mumpy

Have you ever had that thing, right, when you’ve been working flat out on getting Online Help and 3 manuals ready for a Release and about an hour beforehand when everything is closed, somebody – and it might be a nice little QA boy or it might be a very tired bald R&D guy or it might even be the main PM, right, will suddenly decide, yeah,  that the feature functionality can’t actually be supported and the PM casually throws in 85 GUI changes into the product as you are on your way out of the door, right, and you know that you are totally screwed because even though you have begged and pleaded, they have refused to allow you to change the Online Help and Manuals right, because they don’t want to “delay the build”, yeah, so you go home all pissed off and then you come to work the next day and find out that the build is being delayed anyway, right,  because one of the other features has caused a degradation of something else, and then you say oh good, does that mean I have time to change the documentation – and they say no, no, we worked on it in the middle of the night and the build is going out now, yeah, so you’re very disappointed because if they’d just called you last night, you would have happily given up CSI Miami and done the changes, but now it’s too late so you think sod it and you go off to Jerusalem to visit your parents, ok, and then when you get back you find that they delayed the build again and you shriek at the PM – but why didn’t you bloody call me and tell me and he starts shouting at you that you’re not his Manager, right, and you can’t really understand why he’s saying that because all you wanted was to change the documentation to reflect the feature changes which were put in an hour before the “final” build which of course is no longer the final build, so then you say , oh well, I’m screwed now and you go and have a nice cup of tea and then in the kitchen you find out casually from the short one in QA that there is actually going to be yet another build tomorrow so you go completely mental and phone up the PM guy and he says that it isn’t necessarily going to happen and even if it does he’s not sure it will enable changing the documentation and so you say to him, sod it, I’m making the changes anyway just in case and so you then phone the tall and slightly balding R&D guy to find out what the changes were and then he says that there were no changes in the end and you can’t really understand that because the whole point of the entire two day saga was you screaming that they had thrown in changes and not considered you and then you speak to the PM again and find out that although he had thrown in 85 GUI changes at 6pm when you left the office, somebody else had removed the 85 GUI changes at 6.10pm after you had already left the office so in fact the documentation was correct all along and so you think ok then, I won’t bother making changes, I will go and get an EKG to get a clean bill of health to join the Gym and so you go the doctor and she says why is your blood pressure so high and you say you don’t know and then you go to bed and you go to work the next day and the entire feature gets changed again and then you just give up and quit your job and sell mangoes in North Carolina for the next 30 years.

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