Brilliant Ideas

by Mumpy

So my boss wants me to come up with something “new” in time for the Sales Conference at the end of October. I’ve been racking my brains and racking other people’s brains and pretty much just racking in general trying to think of some brilliant ideas.

Here is what I’ve come up with so far:

  1. Have the company logo tattooed on my left buttock. Present this at the Sales Conference.
  2. Have the entire documentation outsourced. Go on a long holiday to the Caribbean.
  3. Invent a time machine. Go back twenty years and study medicine. Become a child neurologist.
  4. Write a new User Guide on how to write a User Guide.
  5. Invent a time machine. Go back forty years and persuade my boss to study medicine and become a child neurologist.
  6. Reprint the current manuals using 3-D images. Distribute them with the 3-D glasses at the Sales Conference. Insert several pictures of naked women to increase interest.
  7. Identify a real need in the current documentation. For example, I document the “how to” and the “why” but not the bigger picture. Call a meeting with head of company Research Center to discuss plans for a more high-level document – encompassing the main features of our system and how they work together.
  8. Faint with shock at actually having come up with a brilliant idea – see number 7.
  9. Come down with Mad Cow Disease the day before the Sales Conference.
  10. Come down with Mad Cow Disease the day after the Sales Conference.

Please feel free to add some more “brilliant ideas” of your own.

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